


Humbug

by bristow



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Academy Era, Christmas, Christmas Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-14
Updated: 2013-12-14
Packaged: 2018-01-04 10:42:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1080058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bristow/pseuds/bristow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>5* jim tried to make bones wear <i>the</i> hat & the 1* he didn't have to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Humbug

**Author's Note:**

> i blame this fic entirely on [merrymckirk's](http://spacedoctor.co.vu) christmas themed icon. that & _all i want for christmas is you_ on repeat all day. just sayin...

"You've got to be kidding me. You want me to put that _where?_ "  
  
"On your head Bones, it's a hat." McCoy stared at the offensive thing in Jim's hand, frowning severely.  
  
"And just how much have you had to drink again, Jim?" Jim rolled his eyes at him, in an overly exaggerated way that McCoy was sure he only did to bug the Hell outta him.  
  
"It's 8am Bones, I haven't been drinking."  
  
"8am," McCoy scoffed, looking around him in a desperate attempt to find some form of escape from what Jim had in store for him, "It's 9, genius."  
  
"Yeah, like that helps at all. Come on, Bones." Jim practically whined at McCoy, "Just once, come on. It's Christmas, live a little!"  
  
"I don't consider wearing a stupid little red hat with a pom pom and - and ears. Dammit man, the thing has _ears_!"  
  
"Come on Bones, just once. For me, come on!"  
  
"Hell no, Jim! It has ears." McCoy shook his head, waving his hand at the hat in Jim's hands as he walked away, "Don't be an infant."

******

"There you are, Bones!" McCoy groaned as Jim slapped him harder than he had to on the shoulder, jolting him forward and sending the book he was trying to study skidding in front of him. "I've been looking all over for you."

"Let me guess, Jim. This was the first place you've looked, isn't?"

"Well...second, but who's counting." Jim pulled out a chair opposite McCoy, leaning forward and tapping his fingers on the table. McCoy sighed and shook his head, fixing his book back to its proper position and began to focus on the complexities of the human-

"So..." McCoy glanced up at Jim, regretting it immediately as he caught Jim's 'I'm soooo not up to anything right now' look, his fingers beginning to tap to a tune that sounded vaguely familiar to McCoy. Something about a 'grown-up' wishlist...

"What?" He demanded, tightening his grip on the book in front of him to stop himself from strangling whatever it was he was up to out of Jim. Either that or slapping him stupid. Or both. Jim shrugged, leaning back in his chair and swiveling it slightly round and round.

"How long you gonna study for anyway? It's like 9pm already."

"Well first of all, Jim, I just started. Second, it's only 6pm, not 9. And thirdly," McCoy said leaning forward and shaking his head, "No."

"What? I haven't said anything yet!"

"Whatever it is Jim, _no!_ "

"Come on, Bones."

"Don't 'come on Bones' me Jim! I'm not wearing some stupid elf hat, ok?"

"It's a Santa hat, Bones. Don't be- ok, ok!" Jim said as McCoy picked up his books and began to walk away, "I won't ask you again. Ok?" McCoy sighed, and turned to face Jim.

"You won't?"

"Scots honor, Bones." McCoy rolled his eyes.

"That's 'Scouts', Jim. Scots honor, _Hell no!_ "  


******

"You know what would be fun?"

"I'm not wearing a Santa hat Jim."

"Did I ask you to, Bones? You need to relax, you know? Unwind a little. You're to tense."

"Uh-huh. Could you face away from me? No offense, but you smell like Hell."  
  
"You know, that's funny cause I've been drinking too."

"No kidding? Never could've guessed." McCoy readjusted Jim's arm round his shoulder as Jim began to slip slightly, shaking his head as he navigated his way through the darkened streets leading to the dorms. "Listen, the next time you need to be dragged home?"

"Yeah?" Jim slurred slightly.

"Well, don't call me ok?"

"Now, let me tell you something Bones."

"What?"

"I like ya, Bones. You get me, you know?"

"Sure Jim. I get you."

"You don't know what I'm talking about, do you?"

"Not a clue. But then I never do, so what's new?"

"You'd probably understand me better if you wore a Santa hat, Bones."

"Not a chance, kid." McCoy dumped Jim unceremoniously on his bunk, pushing his arms and legs in so he wouldn't fall straight off again. "I'd rather go into space."

"I think I'm gonna be sick. I might need a doctor."

"Unbelievable."

******

"What do you call this?" McCoy asked, frowning as he turned the contents of his mug round and round.

"Eggnog, Bones. Didn't you have Christmas when you were young? Like at all?"

"Cause we did. I just don't remember it being so... _yellow_. Is it flammable?"

"Christmas?"

"Yes Jim," McCoy said snickering, "Christmas. This stuff."

"Yes it's flammable, so don't go lighting any fires." McCoy raised his eyebrows at Jim, as he emptied his mug in one swallow, his little white pom pom on his stupid hat swishing back and forth.

"And does wearing that thing make it taste better?"

"Makes everything _better_." Jim replied, grinning. "Come on, Bones. Just once." McCoy sighed, taking a swallow of his eggnog. "What, no comeback? You're slipping." McCoy chucked, looking at Jim and his suddenly oddly likable hat.

"This is only my first mug, give me five minutes and I'll have a dozen."

"But I'm growing on you. Well, we are." Jim flipped his hat a little, grinning that annoying grin at him. McCoy took another sip of his drink.

"If it makes you feel better."

******

"Is this gonna take long?"

"Not if you sit still. Dammit man, you're like a _jumping bean!_ "

"This is going to hurt, isn't it?"

"That's the plan."

"Why am I he- Shit! _Bones_!" Jim grabbed his neck, looking at his hand like he half expected it to be covered in his own blood. "What the _Hell_ Bones?"

"What? I said it'll hurt."

"You're evil! You really are evil, you know that?" McCoy sighed yet again, pushing Jim's head down to look at his neck.

"You volunteered Jim."

"I did not!" Jim retorted, shoving McCoy's hands away and rubbing his neck. "'Come on, Jim', you said, 'It'll be fun, Jim. A little experiment.'"

"What did you think I meant, man?"

"Well, I don't know. It could've been any-"

"Oh, please Jim! Experiment. What else coul-"

"Alright, alright! I'm here, you've jabbed and now you're a happy little doctor. Can I go now? I have a date."

"A date." McCoy scoffed, placing a small circle on Jim's face, ignoring the evil glare that got sent his way. "You wearing your hat?"

"Hat? No, why- Ouch! What was that?"

"Never mind that, I'm sure it's perfectly normal. I think."

"You think? I wish I didn't know you."

"And I wish you didn't know your hat."

"You keep bringing that up. You sure you don't have a thing for that ha-" Jim stopped mid-sentence, falling backwards in his chair, unconscious.

"A thing for it," McCoy muttered, " _Infant._ "  


******

McCoy awoke with a start, groping around blindly in the dark to find the off-switch for the damn alarm clock that he insisted on keeping next to his bed.  
"Dammit!" He finally hit the off button, pushing himself up to glance at the display. "5am? I'll kill him." He groaned, rolling over and knowing full well that there was no point trying to go back to sleep. Not today of all days. He dragged himself out of bed, stumbling slightly in the dark of his room, and squinting slightly as he switched on the light in the bathroom. He splashed water on his face, rubbing his eyes to try and wake himself up, straightening up and looking in the mirror. "Shit!" He started, leaning forward over the sink. Jim stood behind him, grinning that stupid grin ear to ear. "Why don't you just shoot me now? Save everybody a whole lotta pain!"  
  
"Oh, come on Bones! It's Christmas!"  
  
"No kidding." McCoy shook his head, rubbing the back of his neck as he walked out of the bathroom and into Jim's winter wonderland, starting slightly again as Jim grabbed him and hugged him tight enough so that he could hardly breath.  
  
"Merry Christmas, Bones." McCoy patted Jim awkwardly on the back.  
  
"Uh, yeah. You can let me go now. Jim?" Jim let him go, patting him on the shoulders.  
  
"I have a present for you. Don't move." He patted McCoy's shoulders again, rushing out of the room. McCoy chuckled, switching on the lights as he got his own present for Jim, avoiding anything with a reflective surface. He got out his old camera, getting ready for Jim's overly enthusiastic return.  
  
"Ok, so- Bones," Jim stopped, looking at McCoy like he'd never seen him before, "What the _Hell_ are you wearing?"  
  
"Look, it's the only thing I could find without ears or those damn _sparkly_ things on them!"  
  
"There's sparkle, Bones."  
  
"Yeah, well..." McCoy said smiling at Jim in his Christmas hat, "Merry Christmas Jim." Jim grinned back.  
  
"Oh, this _so_ going on film! Leonard McCoy in a Santa hat!" McCoy chuckled, grabbing Jim's arm and pulling him over, setting the camera up to take the picture of two Academy cadets on Christmas morning in matching Santa hats.  
  
"If this leaves this room, I will kill you Jim."  
  
"Noted. Merry Christmas Bones."  
  
"Yeah, merry Christmas kid."

**Author's Note:**

> oh & 1 more thing.... **_merry christmas y'all!!_**


End file.
